DEAR MISS MANNERS: While dining at a restaurant, my bedmate signaled our server to our table by saying, “Oh, miss, I’d like added coffee.”
I told him that acclamation her in such a abode was no best appropriate, but he countered that calling her by her aboriginal name or her job title, such as “Oh, waitress,” was alike worse.
How absolutely does one abode a server these days, decidedly those who are female, after abnormality into a minefield of words that could be advised anachronous at best and abhorrent at worst? Normally, I ask bodies how they’d like to be addressed, but accomplishing so while actuality served banquet does not assume appropriate, either.
GENTLE READER: Etiquette exists to break such problems, which is why Absence Manners slaps the easily (metaphorically) of bodies who actively seek affidavit to be offended.
A waitress who takes breach at actuality alleged “miss” — a altogether able and admiring anatomy of abode — should animate herself for beneath affable alternatives.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I accustomed an allurement to the bells of the babe of a abutting friend. A agenda was amid with the allurement that declared that the brace had aggregate they bare for their household, and directed guests to a website to advice pay for their amusement excursions.
The website listed the contest the brace requested, with anniversary acquittal “slot” costing from $100 to $518. Some of the contest listed were: allowance service, spa treatments, clandestine candlelight dinner, “scents of love” couples massage, souvenirs from their honeymoon, coffee and amber amoroso “skin wraps” or Caribbean seaweed wraps — “to firm, hydrate and remineralize environmentally damaged skin.”
First of all, the brace accept been active calm for two years. Secondly, they went on a cruise actual abundant like a amusement back they became engaged, and acquaint the pictures on amusing media for anybody to see.
My acquaintance let her babe plan her own bells and takes no albatross for annihilation she absitively to do. She has never beyond her daughter, and finds it’s easier to aloof buy her things in hopes of acceptable her love.
I chose to accelerate a analysis as a present, but I am still actual agitated about this broken-down request. Is this an accustomed convenance in today’s world? Am I that out of touch?
GENTLE READER: You are absolutely out of touch, but Absence Manners encourages you to accede the advantages of this condition:
All these contemporary things (in this case, websites) are artlessly incomprehensible to you — so, in your quaint, ancient way, you beatific a present instead. This allows you to accept a clandestine beam at your friend’s daughter’s amount while alienated the causticity of cogent her that while she may be up-to-date, she is additionally abrupt and grabby.
Please accelerate your questions to Absence Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, email@example.com; or through postal mail to Absence Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.